reasons why summer is fucking gross:
- very hot weather
- very humid weather
- 7583498754397864596 waterbugs
- 60000 bees/wasps/hornets
- no sweaters allowed
- sweat everywhere
- millions of mosquitos
- lack of rain
- skyrocketing electric bills if u use an AC
- feeling the need to shower every hour
- did i mention bugs
GOOD LORD THIS IS BESUTIFUK
- everyone: are you okay
- everyone: you look tired
- everyone: you look upset
- everyone: you look confused
- everyone: are you mad at me
- everyone: what happened to you
- everyone: are you sick
- me: IT'S MY FACE
There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’
but there is an ‘ood’
if you use the term “fandom”, then please kill yourself.
if you tell people to kill themselves for using a harmless term, you’re probably a pretty big douchebag and I’m going to have to ask you to leave the premises.
what the hell do i call the fanbase then
the heavenly order of psychopaths
satan’s favorite porn writers
satan’s favourite porn writers
- baby: I-i-i-i-i...
- mom: What are you trying to say, sweetie?
- baby: I-i-i-i-i....w-w-w-
- mom: yes?
- baby: I want to be the best there ever was. To beat all the rest, yeah, that's my cause. Electrode, Diglett, Nidoran, Mankey, Venusaur, Rattata, Fearow, Pidgey, Seaking, Jolteon, Dragonite, Gastly, Ponyta, Vaporeon, Poliwrath, Butterfree. Catch 'em, catch 'em, gotta catch 'em all, Pokémon! I'll search across the land, look far and wide. Release from my hand the power that's inside. Venomoth, Poliwag, Nidorino, Golduck, Ivysaur, Grimer, Victreebel, Moltres, Nidoking, Farfetch'd, Abra, Jigglypuff, Kingler, Rhyhorn, Clefable, Wigglytuff. Catch 'em, catch 'em, gotta catch 'em all, Gotta catch 'em all, Pokémon! Zubat, Primeape, Meowth, Onix, Geodude, Rapidash, Magneton, Snorlax,Gengar, Tangela, Goldeen, Spearow, Weezing, Seel, Gyarados, Slowbro. Gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all, yeah! Gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all, yeah!Gotta catch 'em all, Pokémon! Ow! Kabuto, Persian, Paras, Horsea, Raticate, Magnemite, Kadabra, Weepinbell, Ditto, Cloyster, Caterpie, Sandshrew, Bulbasaur, Charmander, Golem, Pikachu. At least 150 or more to see. To be a Pokémon Master is my destiny. Alakazam, Doduo, Venonat, Machoke, Kangaskhan, Hypno, Electabuzz, Flareon, Blastoise, Poliwhirl, Oddish, Drowzee, Raichu, Nidoqueen, Bellsprout, Starmie.
- mom: Woo! We're at the halfway point, doing great so far.
- baby: We? What's all this "we" stuff? I'm doing all the hard work! Breaktime's over, here we go! Metapod, Marowak, Kakuna, Clefairy, Dodrio, Seadra, Vileplume, Krabby, Lickitung, Tauros, Weedle, Nidoran, Machop, Shellder, Porygon, Hitmonchan. Gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all, yeah!Gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all, yeah! Articuno, Jynx, Nidorina, Beedrill, Haunter, Squirtle, Chansey (Pokémon!) Parasect, Exeggcute, Muk, Dewgong, Pidgeotto, Lapras, Vulpix, Rhydon. At least 150 or more to see. To be a Pokémon Master is my destiny. Charizard, Machamp, Pinsir, Koffing, Dugtrio, Golbat, Staryu, Magikarp, Ninetales, Ekans, Omastar, Scyther, Tentacool, Dragonair, Magmar. Whoa, catch your breath man. Shake out those lips. It's downhill from here, just 24 more to go. Now it gets tricky, so listen real good! Sandslash, Hitmonlee, Psyduck, Arcanine, Eevee, Exeggutor, Kabutops, Zapdos, Dratini, Growlithe, Mr. Mime, Cubone, Graveler, Voltorb, Gloom - We're almost home! Gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all, yeow! Gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all, huhh! Gotta catch 'em all, Pokémon! (yeeaahh!!) Charmeleon, Wartortle, Mewtwo, Tentacruel, Aerodactyl, Omanyte, Slowpoke, Pidgeot, Arbok - That's all, folks! Catch 'em, catch 'em, gotta catch 'em all (oowww) Gotta catch 'em all, Pokémon Catch 'em, catch 'em, gotta catch 'em all (oowww) Gotta catch 'em all, Pokémon Catch 'em, catch 'em, gotta catch 'em all Gotta catch 'em all... Pokémon!
My parents aren’t home
You know what that means
*sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*
this is too accurate
*parents close the door*, *emerges slowly from room like an easily startled deer*
*Parents come home* *scurries back to room like frightened squirrel*
Y’all think this is a joke but it’s 100% accurate
- frodo: smeagol sauron baggins, i named u after 2 of the bravest men ive ever known